Bureaucracy Rant 14/12/08

I’m sure I wrote a similar post over a year ago…but here we go again: the bureaucratic process in this country is absolutely unbelievable and only minimally tolerable. Since the wedding I have been dealing with government agencies non-stop. I had really thought that I was at the end of it all once I had finished dealing with all of the pre-wedding mess! As it turns out, all of the agencies with whom I had been previously dealing (Absorption Ministry, Student Authority, Interior Ministry, Housing Ministry) decided that once I got married I magically became a new entity and had to restart most of the processes I thought I had finished over a year ago. What have I been doing over the past while? First step was to get from the Religious Council in Efrat (where we registered the wedding info) our marriage document, which proves our marriage and affords me legal name change capabilities. I took that document to the Interior Ministry to get a new Identity Card and update my name in my “Passport” (I still travel on a temporary travel document—which they keep offering to renew for free…). Once things get updated in the Interior Ministry’s computer that’s when things start going wrong. I went to the Student Authority to register for this school year’s financial assistance (aka full tuition for all Immigrants). I brought all of the documents that I thought I would need. Everything was going great until she realized that I was newly married. I was told that I could not file for the money until I was updated in the system of the Absorption Ministry (the parent office), turned in an updated bank account statement that proves that my husband and I share a bank account (what if I wanted a separate account?!?), and filled out a direct WITHDRAWL form with the university. So off I went to take care of this long list of things.

It turned out that I had to move my bank from Jerusalem to Givat Shmuel because in Israel, unless you are at your branch, the only transaction you can do is withdraw or deposit money. They can’t even look up your account info. SO it took a few weeks for the papers to transfer and for David to be able to sign on it. Then I was able to get my new statement and the direct withdrawal form. In the meantime, David and I bought a car (she’s SO pretty). In order to reap the Immigrant Benefits I had to send literally every piece of Israeli (and some American) documentation to the Tax Authority. The process was supposed to take a few days but ended up taking weeks. One of the documents was my Immigrant Document—which it a MUST for the Absorption Ministry. While the Tax Authority was taking its time, my appointment with the Absorption Ministry came around. I didn’t have my document back so I called 4 days before to confirm that I could still come. The woman on the phone said that as long as I had my I.D card I would be fine. So I schlepped into Petach Tikvah and waited my turn. When the woman I sat with realized that I didn’t have my Immigrant Document as well she started yelling at me for wasting everyone’s time by coming without that vital packet of information (which could be looked up using my ID number, but they are stupid at government offices, what can ya do?) I started yelling back that I had called specifically to make sure I could still come and after arguing with me for 5 minutes the woman asked me what day I had called. Turns out that the woman who was on duty that day was new and didn’t know better. Awesome right? So I made a new appointment, which didn’t come out until the next month, and decided to wait for my money. [By the way, that same afternoon I got a call from the dealership telling me that the Tax Authority had just delivered my papers.]

A month later with all of my papers in hand I showed up at the Absorption Ministry again. This time I sat with a different woman. She was really dumb and could hardly read and typed so slowly it killed me. I was there for over 45 minutes to change my name, address, and bank account number. Literally. And she was the typical Russian worker who only kind of speaks Hebrew and spends most of your time with them schmoozing (yelling) in Russian to the other Russian ladies. It also means that if you are a Russian Immigrant you get much better treatment… So she is going on with my changes and when I tell her that I also need to hand in bank account update info (as per the request of the Student Authority) she told me that she doesn’t deal with anything to do with money and that I’ll have to make another appointment with someone else to update that information. I started arguing. As soon as I mentioned that it was for the Student Authority she said immediately “Oh, it’s for them? Sure I can take care of it for you.” Obviously. 45 Minutes later I was on my way. Ready to go to the Student Authority (almost) and ready to deal with my stopped rent subsidy. I am entitled to some form of rent assistance for 5 years. This is another one of those things that magically stops when you get married.

A few weeks ago David and I went to yet another office to file for our rent money. That really wasn’t so bad to be honest. I had already been through so many places in the last month that I had my file perfectly filled with all of the things I knew I would need. We just have to go back every year to sign again and show them our contract or else they stop payments. It seems that the government stops payments at any given opportunity, that way if people don’t notice that they aren’t getting money anymore the government saves. Gotta love fuzzy math!

Last week I collected the last remaining pieces of paper that I needed from the university and prepared myself to go to the Student Authority. I took a 10:10 bus from home into Tel Aviv. When I got there, I took a number when I came through security. By the time I made it to the floor of the offices there was hardly any space to move. The place was PACKED with students trying to secure their money. The number was to the first counter where the woman asked what you needed and then put you on a list to see various counselors based on your needs. When I got there, there were 25 people in front of me. It took almost an hour to be called to this first desk. When I did it took about 3 seconds and I was on a waiting list. About 20 minutes later it dawned on me that my name on my ID card and the name on my file was different. I asked the woman about it and she went to look for the file. After over 30 minutes of looking she couldn’t find it. She sent me to look in various stacks and boxes (g-d forbid anything be digital or in a filing cabinet). I couldn’t find it and started to get REALLY REALLY worried. In these agencies, the paper file is everything and they can’t function without it. Eventually they had their schlepper girl look for it and loe and behold it was in the place where it should have been in the first place. That minor heart attack aside, all I had to do was wait another hour and a half. FINALLY my turn came. It turns out that I hadn’t updated them since I dropped my minor, but since I hadn’t brought new documentation with me, and since I was taking the same number of class hours I just signed the form to get my money and left. Turns out I have to mail them (aka go back or they will never get it) each receipt to prove that the university actually took the money from my account that the government put in. Also I am signing that I understand that the gov. will deposit the money as they have it: aka, I have to pay and they will try to reimburse me. I was there for just over 3 hours.

Since the bus to get there comes once an hour I had to wait 40 minutes for the next bus. I spent about 20 in a mall because it was raining, and I spent the last 20 waiting at the stop because I wasn’t sure when the bus actually came and I REALLY did not want to miss it! By the time I got home I was exhausted and hungry, but I wasn’t done. I had to call my cellphone company to try to cancel an external service that I didn’t know I had that I really didn’t want. It took 4 phone calls to cancel the damn thing and in the end it took 3 seconds. Our Internet is also not working properly but I just don’t have the energy to deal with them right now, today. Instead I am letting out all of my frustration here.

Don’t get me wrong though. I might be complaining, but that doesn’t mean I regret for a second being here. This is just proof to my belief that if someone moves here because of any other reason other than that this is the only place in the world they want to be, they won’t be happy. As annoyed as I am this second, I still know that I made the right decision to move here. I love this place and some bureaucracy can’t make me hate it. But I would like to share some wisdom: patience, patience, and always bring every bit of documentation you can with you!!!

I Love My Daddy

My Dad was just here for a week to spend time with us and to be here for the Yoni Schiff’s Bar Mitzvah. It was wonderful to have him here for MANY reasons. First of all, it was a fantastic feeling that I have seen my dad on 3 separate occasions over the last 6 months. That’s more time than we’ve been able to spend together in the last few years. It was a really nice feeling knowing that I didn’t have to miss him so much because I would see him again so soon. Now I’m much more sad that he’s not around because with my school schedule and my parent’s busy lives (not to mention Seth who is probably busier than all of us combined) I’m not sure when our next reunion will be. It’s a hard thing saying goodbye to my parents each time. I don’t think it is something I will ever get used to.

It was great having my dad stay with us because it was the perfect opportunity for him to get an insight into our lives on a daily basis. It is really important for me that my parents understand what my life is like so we can all relate to each other. I am SO glad we got a 2-bedroom apartment so we are open to opportunities like this to have my parents as guests. It meant so much to me for him to spend some time with us that wasn’t centered around any specific event (except for the weekend.)

Another great thing about my dad being here, was that when he left, I didn’t feel like he was abandoning me or that I was being ripped from him (whether by my own choice or not is not the point), which I felt the last few times I parted with my parents. Instead I felt like I was in the right place. I had my schoolwork to attend to and my house to run and take care of. I felt that I was/am in my right place and it was totally normal for my dad to drop in and then leave. I’m not saying it was easy to say goodbye… but at the same time I can’t stop being excited about the life that I am building here and now and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I think that was something that was important for me to feel and important for my dad to see and experience. If I had to leave them at least it was to a place where I am truly happy. I love the home that David and I are building together and there is nowhere else in the world I would rather be and no one with whom I would rather build it. As much as this is something I have always known, until my dad left I hadn’t felt it so strong or clearly before. I am no longer a child who has left home alone. I am married woman who has moved on to my own home in the normal order of life. I am happy and I am flourishing and I am thrilled that my dad could be here to see it.

School is going GREAT! I absolutely love it and we’re already 5 weeks in! I chuckle to myself every time I think about the fact that I am getting a college degree for learning about Israel. I feel like its everything I ever wanted to know about Israel and Jewish history and more! I just wanted to gush… it is a wonderful feeling to also be settled in my studies especially since it has taken me so long to get here. I feel like I am finally on the right track and it simply feels great. I can’t wait to learn more and solidify my place for myself here even more. (AND my Hebrew is getting amazing!!!!!!!)

I am Officially a University Student

Last week I (finally) started my studies at Bar Ilan University. I am studying Land of Israel Studies and Archaeology with a specialization in Archaeology. I will be learing a lot of Israeli History all the way through pre-history as well as the accompanying archaeology. I am SO excited. This is a subject that interests me deeply. When I was trying to figure out what in the world I wanted to study, I asked Seth for his advice. His answer (as most of his answers to my ridiculous questions) was: Just study something you like. I didn’t know what I liked. His answer was: Don’t you like Israel? Didn’t you move there because you love it so much? Maybe you should study that. Pretty miraculously a few days later I was talking to a friend who told me about the cool program at Bar Ilan. We went to check it out and within weeks I was registered. Parallel to the degree I am going to start learning to be a tour guide and will get an official Tour Guiding license from the government. Hopefully, after I graduate, and even while I’m still in school, I’ll be able to lead tours and get to spend the rest of my time hiking and visiting and seeing Israel all the time. It’s like a dream come true. I’ve always wanted to know all about all of the places I’ve ever been, and this past week I finally started my journey to that knowledge.

It is an amazing feeling being back on a college campus. I didn’t realize how much I missed the atmosphere until this week. There is something stimulating about being surrounded by hundreds of people who are all in the same general place in life as you and who are all striving toward a similar goal: The BA. The campus exudes a buzz and it is fun to just walk around or sit on the grass and watch people go by. It’s just a good feeling…especially since I have spent the last few months without anything “real” to do AND my computer was broken for most of the time! It’s nice to have a reason to get out of bed in the morning and now I have something to do in the evenings when I get home. I think it will also ease a bit of tension in mine and David’s relationship since I am no longer so dependant on him for my entertainment and companionship.

As much as I have been enjoying the beginning of school it is still very overwhelming. I am taking 13 classes for a total of 20 hours of class a week, and they are all in Hebrew. My Hebrew is at a high enough level that I can get by with no problem, but it is a daunting task to sit for 10 hours a day and listen to lectures in Hebrew. Some professors don’t speak loudly or clearly enough and I have a hard time. Fortunately the department I am in has a very open, uncompetitive atmosphere and everyone shares their notes with everyone else. I am sure that in the classes I am having a harder time in I will be able to get enough notes together to really understand. It’s a bit scarry and thrilling at the same time. I am really really going to college in Hebrew. I really can’t wait for things to continue and to really get into a routine, and I am just so happy to finally be a student again and on my way toward something big that will open up my future!

I'm Back!

I'm Back! Sorry for the long hiatus, but since we've been back from the states (about a month and a half) my computer has been broken and I have been pretty much out of my usual communication circles. A lot has happened during the time that I was computerless so I figured I'd give a quick update.

Our trip to Houston after the wedding was great. It was so nice to be home and get to spend some more quality time with my family. Then of course Ike came along and messed up our plans a bit. We "survived" Hurricane Ike with fortunately very little damage. My parents didn't have electricity for 2 weeks but fortunately we were able to stay with friends during most of that time. David and I didn't get to take care of everything we had hoped to because most of the stores and offices we needed were closed due to the storm until after we left. It was hard and not so fun to not have electricity and to spend my last week at home in someone else's home but at the same time I'm glad we were there. I would have felt so guilty not being with my family while they prepared the house for the worst and then cleaned up after... not to mention how scared I would have been for their safety not knowing exactly what was happening to them! I'm also glad David got to experience it so that maybe he can begin to understand what it's like, and what it was like in Allison- a storm/flood that still haunts me. 

Since we've been back our time has been taken up mostly by the holidays. We spent most of the time with David's family. They are moving soon and I know it was important for David to celebrate the big ones one last time in the same place he has lived almost his entire life. Now I'm just waiting for school to start. I got the word about five minutes ago that the potential strike isn't happening and that school will start as scheduled!! YAYAYA!!! Since the chagim I have been taking care of things at home, practicing being a dutiful housewife (which is sometimes fun but mostly lonely), and doing a LOT of reading. I'm also knitting a blanket and cooking a bunch. Bottom line- I can't wait for school to start!!

I hope all is going well with all of you. Hopefully I can get back to a more routine posting schedule now that my computer is back!!! 

We FINALLY Got Married!!!!

David and I finally got married on Thursday August 14, 2008. After waiting what seemed like FOREVER and planning and organizing and anticipating it actually really happened. And it was a lot of fun. The entire evening seemed to go by in a blur. I remember things clearly but I felt like I was floating through it all. I think I finally snapped out of it at the end of the night and felt like “Woah. Is it over already?” I hardly tasted (or even saw for that matter) the food, but I heard it was yummy. I only noticed the flowers because the videographer’s sound guy was trying to put the microphone near the chuppah and one of the arrangements fell as I was on my way to David. Fortunately my reaction was to chuckle instead of getting upset. The Chuppah itself passed so quickly and felt like it wasn’t even happening. David kept smiling at me so I kept smiling at him and all I wanted to do was talk to him (which I did as much as I could). When it was all over and we were being danced to the Yichud room I felt like I was experiencing an outer body experience. I didn’t really feel like I was walking away from my chuppah…I was just floating and hoping that none of our friends would accidentally dance backward into a wall or a door or something.

In the Yichud room, away from all of the music and people, I finally came back to myself. I cried with relief and happiness. After almost 3 years together of a ridiculous relationship that still now we ask ourselves if we were out of our minds to try to make it work we FINALLY REALLY ACTUALLY got married. It was such a wonderful feeling when it hit me that my “struggle” to really get to spend the rest of my life with him was over. I had him. He was mine and I was his and we could really start OUR life together. It’s almost making me cry as I write this thinking about how good it all feels.

The dancing was wonderful. I only remember the fact that I danced so hard I could barely breathe most of the night. Fortunately I had good friends to bring me lots of water and a chair to sit on when I thought I was going to fall over. I didn’t dance with David as much as I had anticipated but it’s ok, I was so caught up in what was going on and whirling around me that I almost didn’t notice.

I also have wonderful, amazing friends. I had a complete entire table of friends that I had grown up with in the states who came to Israel to be at my wedding. Aside from the fact that it was wonderful to see them all again and together, it made me feel so loved that they all made the effort to be with me. It made the night so much more special. I had friends prepare a song for us and perform it in front of everyone. They are both in the army and it must have taken a lot of effort to find time to rehearse and plan. David’s friends performed “The Dance” that started as a wedding tradition for his high school class, then his yeshiva class, and then David introduced it to his unit. There were guys from all three places in David’s life dancing their hearts out for us. It was amazing.

The night was magical. I can’t describe it any other way. Nothing seemed to go wrong and at the end I was married so nothing else mattered.

To top it all off, we had a Shabbat Sheva Brachot with all of our family at the hotel right after the wedding. That was really the cherry on top. To see all sides of our families spending a Shabbat together and really getting to know each other and sit and chat was really beautiful. Even though it was two completely different families coming together probably for this weekend only, the harmony and happiness was tangible. We are so lucky to be blessed with such loving families and really enjoyed all of our time with them.

I am going to post some pictures but they are NOT the official photographer’s because I don’t have them yet. Hope this will give a taste of what it was like. There are also a ton on facebook and a few snapfish albums. Email me if you want more!

Hativka Still Makes Me Cry 22/7/08

This has been a huge week. And it is still only Tuesday. The week started out with the fast of the 17th of Tamuz where we begin the mourning period leading up to the 9th of Av. The 17th of Tamuz mourns the processes that was set in motion and brought about the destruction of the Temple and the theft of the holy vessels. It is supposed to be a very sad day even though I unfortunately have a hard time truly connecting to it. I fasted nonetheless and spending a day not eating or drinking is enough to make anyone start thinking. And with last weeks return home of 2 of our missing soldiers, there was plenty to think about. I am very torn about how I feel about the seemingly outrageous price that we paid to get back 2 badly preserved bodies while at the same time being proud that Israel is a place that will try to get its soldiers home no matter what. Daniel Gordis has a very moving piece that looks at the prisoner swap in a very positive light.

Yesterday I went to my new apartment to check on our new paint job. It is so exciting to have a place of my own where I can do whatever I want with and really make my true home. The wedding is in 3 weeks and 2 days and it makes me so excited to be working on building our home together.

From the apartment I went to meet up with my cousins, the Metzgers, to drive all the way down to Mitzpe Ramon (most of the way down to Eilat) for Lia’s graduation from Officers School. The ceremony itself was pretty standard and no that exciting, but getting to watch almost 400 young Israelis, most of them younger than me, becoming officers was a great experience. Unfortunately this country is a place where the military is a necessity and war is always on the horizon. With the reports of increasing draft dodging, knowing that there are still hundreds of soldiers who feel it is necessary to serve our country on a higher level is reassuring. The thing that touched me the most about the tekes was how emotional I still am during the singing of Hatikva, Israel’s national anthem. It has been over a year and I still tear up if not cry full out whenever the anthem is sung. The feeling was even more powerful standing in a stadium of hundreds of new officers and thousands of proud parents, siblings, and friends who all are proud to be part of this place. Sometimes I feel a bit like a cheese-ball for being so emotional, but I keep reminding myself that the very existence of this country is a miracle and it is a miracle to be part of it.

This morning I woke up bright and early at 5:15 to head to the airport to help welcome my friend Arielle’s flight. She is moving here by herself, going to the Israeli version of the seminary program I attended, and then going into the army as part of their program. I think she is even braver than I am and feel really proud to be her friend. This was my first time to a Nefesh B Nefesh welcoming ceremony since my own and it was wonderful to be there as a ‘veteran’. They had something really neat set up for the flight: in addition to broadcasting the whole thing live on the internet for the benefit of family and friends all over the world, they had the feed up on the screens in the reception hall so we could watch everyone disembarking. Arielle was one of the first off the plane so I rushed to the entrance to be able to meet her bus. When she came out I ran and gave her a huge hug and we both started sobbing. There are few people who can truly understand what it feels like to leave everything you know and love to come to a difficult place out of love and staunch ideology. It is comforting to be able to share my life experiences with such people. There are pictures of us on the arutz 7 website (link) I am the one who is hugging someone and I’m wearing a bright yellow shirt with white polka dots. We danced with some of her other friends and then went back inside for the rest of the “fesitivities”.

The main attraction though was an 88 year old woman who was making Aliyah. She is a Holocaust survivor who attempted to move to Israel once before the Holocaust and then again on the Exodus. She didn’t make it either time and today she finally realized her dream of becoming an Israeli citizen. She was ceremoniously awarded her Immigrant Document to a standing ovation from a crowd of over 700 people. It was very moving and absolutely fantastic to get to be part of her finally realizing her dream.

When we stood to sing Hativka Arielle barely made it through the first 3 words before she started sobbing and I was crying silently beside her. Twice in two days I felt the powerful emotions that drew me here much stronger than usual. I was proud to be here and I shared in her joy and disbelief that she is finally an Israeli after so much time planning and waiting and wishing. This is not an easy place to be but I still believe that it is the only place to be.

Unfortunately, this afternoon there was yet more reason for crying. Our dream as expressed in the anthem “To be a free nation in our own land, the land of Zion and Jerusalem” was once again threatened. A copycat terrorist took a bulldozer from his place of work and went on another rampage in downtown Jerusalem, this time much closer to my home. Fortunatley no one was killed this time and only 1 person is considered to have been “seriously” injured. The terrorist, an Israeli ID carrying East Jerusalem resident, was killed. The second terror attack in 3 weeks of this kind makes me sad and upset and a little bit scared. I also feel frusteration and despair. On the one hand we want to make the Palestinians life as easy as possible, but on the other hand there are people who really do want to kill us. How do we survive with our lives and our hearts intact? Is there a solution? Will there ever be one that will work that doesn’t include a devastating war and the decimation of an entire people (please G-d that it won’t be us who is decimated once again)?

I have Tikva , hope, that one day things here will be peaceful, but for now I try my best to keep my head up high and not to loose hope.

I Live in a Beautiful Country 7/7/08

Last week I had the distinct pleasure of riding the train all the way from Jerusalem up to Haifa. As I was sitting in the train car and looking out of the window I couldn’t stop feeling overwhelmed by the breathtaking beauty. I was further overwhelmed by the drastic landscape changes that occurred approximately every 20 minutes. It is truly amazing to me that in this tiny little strip of land in the middle of a vast desert we have almost every single type of topography and climate region (obviously of the warm ones!) If you ever get a change to ride the train I highly recommend it: it offers a view of Israel unparalleled to any other I have seen and everyone can enjoy because no one has to drive! (Oh gosh I am such a commercial!!)

This past month has been pretty intense and jam-packed. I am officially finished with school and included in that is an exemption from ever taking a Hebrew Language course again. To attest to the success of my program I am currently in the middle of a popular Modern Hebrew book and I am understanding and enjoying almost as much as I would a book written in English. I am finding that my Hebrew has really made the progress that I was looking for and that overall this has been an incredibly successful year.

Wedding planning is going fantastically. I have had a few stress-induced breakdowns but for the most part things are going well. My goal is to take care of as many things as far in advance as possible so that when the wedding actually arrives I can be relaxed and just focus on being happy and excited. So far so good. I have been running around like a maniac for the last week and a half and my to-do list is rapidly shrinking!! Unfortunately it means that I am not having the super relaxing summer I was hoping for, but at least I am being productive!!

This Wednesday marks my 1 year anniversary of making Aliyah. Can you believe it? I can’t. This year I feel that I have more or less integrated myself into society (I can yell at obnoxious public workers at the post office etc. with the best of them!) and I really truly feel at home here. My Hebrew is improving all the time and now I just have to work on getting down the whole male/female concept and be able to properly integrate it into my speaking. I now have my very own Israeli drivers license and am learning to adapt my driving to this jungle of horrible horrible drivers.

David and I have officially taken possession of our apartment and will spend the next 5 weeks until we move in getting it ready for us to live in. It is a huge step to finally have a home of my own in addition to the whole getting married thing. I am getting super excited for the wedding! It is only 5 weeks away and I am already starting to go out of my mind with excitement and impatience. I just want to be married already! David is very busy in the army which is both good and bad, it shields him from a lot of the unnecessary wedding stuff and makes me more independent, but it also means he is left out of a lot of the decision making process. I guess that is what life is like when you are in the army—no matter what else you have going on in your life, some things are just more important. Fortunately he loves his unit and he loves his job. This will make the next almost 5 years easier if not absolutely pleasant.

This past year has also brought with it some less pleasant things. Two major terror attacks in Jerusalem have not been easy. I was not here during the Intefada and while “seasoned” and “hardened” veterans might react differently to the bad news I still take it to heart and very hard for a long time. I think the government is making more mistakes in dealing with our situation than should be tolerated and I pray that the government will fall soon and can be replaced with a more morally responsible and effective one. Despite it all I have no desire to leave and I have not for one minute regretted my decision to live here. Every day I feel more and more that Israel is my home. I love living here, and even after a year I still look out my window most mornings and the thought goes through my mind of “wow, I live here!”

Tomorrow a good friend of mine is going home so she can come back at the end of the month on a Nefesh B’ Nefesh aliyah flight. It is amazing seeing her and talking things over with her and reliving where I was a year ago. I have grown so much this year and feel that I have really starting truly growing into myself. I look forward to seeing where the next year will take me, but I will always know that this has been one of the best years of my life.

One Crazy Week

For some reason this past week has just been insane!!!! I didn’t get to sleep before midnight any night of the week and I was doing fun and exciting things every day. It was GREAT and so much fun!

It all started out that on Shabbat my fan and bug zapper got turned off with our new Shabbat Clock that cuts the electricity to part of the house on hours when we don’t need to save electricity. I was too hot and didn’t sleep at all during the night and I also didn’t get a nap because it was so damn hot! I don’t know how it happened but I didn’t go to bed until midnight on sat. night either.

Sunday I woke up early to go to the licensing office to pick up my drivers license!! Went to school and then came home and attempted to nap. I was so tired that it just didn’t really work. That evening was Student Day (and also the start of Jerusalem Day) which is a huge concert and party downtown. For 30 NIS we get entrance to the concert and then at 2 am most venues in town were holding activities ( old Israeli songs and beer, Jazz, poetry readings, dance clubs, etc) for free with a wristband and serious discounts on drinks. I went with Becca, Aaron, and our friend Arielle. It was amazing. Complete with Bungee Jumping. Unfortunately I was SO tired that I couldn’t take it. I sat down in the nargila tent and almost fell asleep during the Hadag Nachash concert. From there I went home and attempted to sleep. I had to do my usual facebook and jpost routine before bed and didn’t get to sleep till around 2- stupid I know.

Monday was Yom Yerushaliyim!! I was so exhausted from the day before that I didn’t get up till around noon. I had some breakfast and then took a 2-hour nap. I wrote an essay I needed for Hebrew class and then Arielle and I went to get something to eat. I stupidly had a HUGE ice coffee not realizing how late in the day it was and forgetting to take into account that the caffeine really affects me. We then headed to town for the huge parade and “flag dancing”. It is a huge parade through the entire city and into the old city to celebrate the reunification of Jerusalem in ’67. Thousands and Thousands of people march through the streets singing and dancing and it is one of the most beautiful and inspirational things I have ever seen. We stood on one place for an hour and watched the sea of people go by and it was still continuing by the time we headed to the old city. We went to the Kotel and danced there for about an hour. It was super amazing. Thousands of people cramped together singing and dancing and celebrating. It made me feel so idealistic and proud to be here. One very obvious thing that was quite distressing was that the only sector of the country represented was the national religious community. The Charedim are anti- anything Israel related and the non-religious don’t care that much and don’t see the reunification and the opening of the Kotel as a miracle and an important event in Jewish and Israeli history. It made me really sad. Am I part of a tiny piece of the county that is the only piece that still cares about anything anymore? That still sees this place as a miracle? That wakes up in the morning feeling lucky and wonderful to be here? The answer for the most part is sadly yes. The trends are scary: the Arabs hate us, the Charedim think we are defying g-d’s will my existing, and the non-religious could care less that we exist and if they could get visas many would go elsewhere.

Tuesday I had a dress fitting in Efrat and then I went back to school and had a field trip (and it was SO hot) and then I went back to Efrat for a Kallah Class. It was my most calm day but I still didn’t get to bed till after midnight.

Wednesday was also relaxed but that evening Becca and I went to a wedding and I was already so wiped out from the rest of the week! But the really exciting thing was that my cousins lent me their car so I could drive to the wedding which was on a kibbutz far from easy transportation. It was so cool to be driving! The wedding was beautiful and I’m so happy I got to go!!

Thursday was a usual day- David came home! We went out for dinner and to the Israeli Book Week. (A celebration of Hebrew books- all books are on extreme discount and there is a huge field set up with thousands of books being sold fair style—it’s so cool!) At the Fair we bough David a set of Gemara as a wedding present. Then we hung out with some friends and then went to sleep after midnight. I am pooped but it was a great week!!

Bureaucracy is Expensive

I feel like I have been up to my neck in bureaucracy over the past few weeks and I would like to share a bit of the experience. In order to have a legal Jewish wedding in this country every couple must register with the religious authorities. The process is pretty complicated and rather expensive and if you aren’t at least somewhat religious and understanding of the necessity of a central rabbinic authority, it can be an absolute nightmare. Each member of the couple must bring witnesses attesting to their status as an unmarried single (if you have been previously married you must provide a divorce certificate or a death certificate etc). Then each must bring their parents ketubah (as proof of Jewishness), a kosher certificate from their wedding hall, a certificate that their rabbi is allowed to perform the wedding according to the religious authority’s standards, a certificate that the woman has completed a course in the laws of marital purity, and a hefty chunk of money. Fortunately we are student/soldier so we get a significant discount…but still. They definitely don’t make it easy even to REGISTER to get married here. We are also fortunate that David lives in Efrat and they have their own branch of the religious authority here AND that the Rabbi who is marrying us happens to be the head of it! We can register everything for the wedding here in Efrat, but I had to bring my single certificate from my place of residence (aka Jerusalem).

Unfortunately for me the process in Jerusalem is a bit nightmarish. I tried to go a few months ago to the Rabbinate to get my certificate and after an hour and a half of waiting and being shuttled around from desk to desk I was informed that I couldn’t get it anyway because it only lasts 3 months and it would be expired before the wedding came around and I’d have to do it again anyway!!! I was so flustered and stressed when I left there that I ended up going on a shopping spree to calm myself down! The Rabbinate building is dark and cramped and everyone is angry about something and it was just a really unpleasant atmosphere. It is also very unsettling that some unsympathetic religious guy can potentially control my future!

Last week I decided to try to register at my other option, another branch of similar something (I’m not really sure how it really works anyway). I brought my witnesses with me (Noam and Becca’s boyfriend Aaron) so that we could get it done on the spot and everything would be great. We got to the office and immediately were sent to talk to the head of the place because something in the paperwork I had didn’t look right. Turns out the letter that my Rabbi from home had written attesting to my Jewishness couldn’t be accepted because he didn’t show up in their computer system as a real Rabbi. He refused to register me until we could prove that he really was a Rabbi. Our options were to let him fax it to another office and we could have waited a week OR we could schlep to the other side of town and go to that office ourselves. Obviously we decided to take it in our own hands and not rely on him to fax it or do anything to help me. We rode to the other side of town and waited for 45 minutes in the lobby of the Chief Rabbi’s (both of them) Office for a really nice pregnant woman (the only person who smiled at me throughout this whole process) to have one of the Rabbis check up on the status of my Rabbi in the states. It was really strange that the Sefardi and Ashkenazi Rabbis had two different sides of the building and there was no connection between the two other than through the lobby… as if this place didn’t have enough problems!! Fortunately they were able to verify his status and wrote me a letter to give to the other authority so I could get my certificate. We then raced back to the other office and I was able to fill everything out. My witnesses testified and all is good. I almost had at least 3 nervous breakdowns that day but all in all I survived!

My other bureaucratic messiness was getting my drivers license!!! I had to take 1 lesson and 1 test if all went well, but first I had to do a whole bunch of stuff: get a special form from only 1 place in the whole city, get an eye test, get a doctor to sign it (almost 100 NIS), go to the licensing office to have them sign it, find a teacher, take the lesson, have him sign me up for the test, take the test, go back to the licensing office to pick up my license, and THEN go to the bank to pay for it so it would be valid. It took me about 5 months in total to get everything done. Obviously I didn’t do it all at once, but still!! After just about 1000 NIS I am now a licensed driver in Israel and SOO glad it’s all over.

All in all it wasn’t so bad to deal with the bureaucracy, but as I was talking with a girl who was on my aliyah flight we made an interesting observation: this is not an easy place to live. If you really want to be here because it’s where you believe you’re meant to be then yea the bureaucracy junk is annoying but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter that much. If you don’t want to be here more than anything, I can guarantee that within a few years you will have returned to where you came from because it’s just not worth the headache if being here isn’t worth it. For me, being here is worth every second and every penny.

Yom HaAtzmaut 2008

According to the Jewish Calendar, a new day starts at sunset of the old day. Memorial Day and Independence Day are one day apart and the remembering transitions directly into celebration in a way that is befitting to a place like this where sadness and fear are almost always mixed with happiness and love of life. Efrat has a really lovely local tekes (ceremony) to mark the end of Memorial Day and the start of Independence Day. The entire town (or small city really) shows up to the largest park and plops down on blankets on a slope to watch the festivities. They have sad songs and speeches for the end of Yom HaZikaron and once Yom HaAtzmaut starts the flag is raised from half-mast and the celebrating begins. They start with a torch lighting ceremony and they have everything from a live band to the youngest jazz class in the area performing. In the end to top it all off they have one of the nicest and largest fireworks displays in the area. I bumped into some other new-immigrant friends and had a blast singing and dancing and jumping up and down with them celebrating our first Independence Day as citizens. It was really fun and really special.

Later that night I went into Jerusalem with a bunch of friends. Center of Town was packed with things to do and people doing them. We went straight to the square in front of the municipal building for Israeli Folk Dancing! The square was PACKED with thousands of people dancing in hundreds of circles dances that have been around since before the state was established. It was so much fun. It was really unbelievable. It was the perfect thing to do. Because folk dancing is “not cool” all of the gross “cool kids” (read arsim = those kids who wear really tight jeans and have spiked hair and who have listen to music on their cell phones on buses and who have no respect for themselves or anyone else) were at other parties and the dance floor was open for chill people who just wanted to come and dance and be happy. It was an awesome mixing of peoples (again the Charedim were completely absent) from religious to non, old and young. The dancing went until almost 4am!!!! It was also the most ‘kosher’ mixed dancing I have ever seen. The religious girls and religious guys danced in separate circles and the people who wanted to dance together did so and there was no issue from anyone. People were just happy and dancing and singing and it was fantastic. I didn’t know more than half of the dances but just being carried along in huge circles of dancing singing happy people made me so happy. I want to go there every year to celebrate because I feel like it epitomizes everything I love about Israeli society and what it is that we are doing here- making a home for all Jews and truly appreciating what we have as well as being connected to our past. It was awesome!

David pulled the unfortunate duty of being on call during the holiday weekend. In order to fulfill the local commandment of “Thou Shall Barbeque on Independence Day” and get to be with David as well we piled into cars and drove to his base. We figured that either the nature reserve next door or the beach down the road would be perfect places for our “Al Ha Aish” (On the fire) but when we arrived we noticed that everyone else (literally) was following the same commandment!! There was absolutely no room anywhere. At first I freaked out because I really wanted this BBQ, but then we remembered that right next to the gate of David’s base is an area of picnic tables for when families come to visit their soldiers. We drove in there and had a lovely picnic and even got to take David home with us!!

Another fun aspect of the day was sitting and talking with David’s grandfather. His grandfather made Aliyah just over a month ago. He is 85 and it is not his first time living here. Before the state was founded he was here as a journalist and served in the Hagana. Listening to him retell his stories on Independence Day, which he personally helped come about, was really amazing. All in all it was an amazing holiday week and I hope that it will continue to be as meaningful and exciting in the coming years.

Yom HaZikaron 2008

This year was my first year for the Memorial Day/Independence Day circuit as a citizen. I have been here before on these, two of the most awesome (in both meanings of the word) days of the year to be an Israeli. In Israel, Memorial Day and Independence Day are the complete opposite of what they are in America. There is no such thing as celebrating with shopping or football games. This two day period is for family time, reflecting, remembering, mourning, and then celebrating like there will be no tomorrow! Everything shuts down and everyone celebrates (Memorial Day is a half workday unless you request to get off).

This year I wanted to take advantage of everything and really experience it all. Memorial Day is marked here with a siren that sounds throughout the ENTIRE country. When the siren sounds everything stops and everyone stands at attention. Traffic stops and people get out of their cars to stand together with the rest of the nation for a minute of true silence and reflection. This year I had been at an engagement party in the early evening but wanted to be in a public place to be able to properly observe the moment of silence and to be outside with the rest of everyone while it happened. I went down to Emek Refaim (the main street by my house) and sat on a bench for 10 minutes watching the people go by until the siren went off. The sound is piercing and in the complete silence all around you it’s as if you can feel the sound of the siren reverberating through your body. It is haunting. It feels like something is entering your soul—standing there with everyone else doing nothing but thinking about the fact that it is Memorial Day is an incredible thing. That feeling is one of the reasons I want to live here. That feeling means that I am part of something greater than I am, that is worth dying for. And those who have made the ultimate sacrifice so that I may live safely and free in my homeland are worth remembering.

Later that evening I went with my friend Noam, who is currently serving in a combat unit, to the neighborhood ceremony. Every area has their own little ceremony to commemorate those who fell from their communities. It was small and personal and really nice. I haven’t lived here long enough to recognize most of the names of those who had fallen in battle or who had been killed in terror attacks, but Noam who has lived here his whole life knew of many of them. It was a somber evening and very much befitting the occasion.

The next morning I went with my friend Arielle and David’s brother Ari to the National War Cemetery at Har Hertzl. On Memorial Day morning there is a major ceremony presided over by the Prime Minister and Minister of Defense, but more importantly it is a time to go visit graves of soldier who you knew or didn’t know or maybe those who’s stories you heard once or those who have no one left to visit them at all. This was the first time that I had a specific grave that I wanted to visit. Over a year ago, a soldier was killed in some sort of parachuting accident during advanced training. The details have never been released… He used to come spend almost every summer in Houston visiting his grandmother and uncle so we were very friendly. He also grew up with David in Efrat. I was in Austin for the funeral and when they had a memorial service for him I was in the country but sick and couldn’t go. It was important for me to be able to at least visit his grave once. The other thing about going to Har Hertzl on Yom HaZikaron is that it’s packed. More packed than the most popular concert. It is packed with people from all walks of society. Another aspect of Israel that I love so much is that everyone fights together and unfortunately everyone dies together, but at the end of the day all differences are put aside and religious and non-religious people hug each other and cry and share memories because we are all one people. (I purposely didn’t say anything about the Charedim…don’t get me started)

We found the grave but it was already surrounded by his former unit and other friends and family members who came to pay their respects. Because we were relatively late, we couldn’t get too close and instead ended up next to a grave farther along the row. The grave happened to be of a soldier, named Roi Klein, who had been a student (a few years older and already married with children) at David’s Yeshiva. His story is that during the Second Lebanon War he was up in Lebanon as an officer with his troops when a grenade was thrown to where they were all clustered. Rather than run and take the chance that only most of his unit would be either killed or seriously injured, he jumped on the grenade. His last words were the Shema as he absorbed the blast and saved the lives of every single one of his soldiers. His sacrifice is of the highest level and I felt honored to be able to pay my respects to such a wonderful man on such an important day.

Another siren sounds on the morning of Memorial Day to mark the beginning of the official ceremony. The siren had the same affect of me in the morning except I was a bit too squished to feel too much emotion. The ceremony was broadcast over speakers throughout the cemetery and was pretty routine. At the end though, with the singing of the national anthem, the Hatikvah (the hope), I began to lose it. Standing there in the packed cemetery amidst all of the families of fallen soldier, current soldiers, and regular citizens coming to pay respects with everyone singing at the top of their lungs about the hope to “be a free nation in our land, the land of Zion and Jerusalem” and knowing that it is coming true. Because of the graves we were standing next to we have a country to sing about and to be proud of and to live in. It was truly an amazing thing. I could hardly get the words out I was crying so hard because I was sad because I was happy to be here because I am scared that with the way things are going things might not continue to be so great. I was crying because I had the opportunity to stand among my brethren and say to the world that we are here and we are alive and we are strong and we aren’t going anywhere. It’s days like that that tell me that I made the right decision and that this is where I belong.

The next punch came when the crowd around me started to spontaneously sing “Ani Maamin” which basically states our believe that one day the messiah will come and that no matter how bad things get we will not lose hope and faith. This is when I REALLY started to lose it. Seeing the parents of so many soldiers sing this song with strong voices made me feel week. I wish I could posses the strength that these people have in their pinkie finger. They have lost children and siblings and parents and friends and still nothing can shake their hope and their faith and their strength. I feel a sense of unbelievable empowerment just being in the same space as these wonderful people.

I don’t know what was happening in the other areas of the cemetery (which is HUGE) but I was in the most recently filled area with victims of the last war and other tragedies since. There has been a movement within the National Religious sector to emphasize the importance of army service and not just as the bare minimum but as a serious “donation” to the country and to society. The yeshiva where David studied encourages its students to sign on optional time in the army and to join combat units as well as “less prestigious” units to try to raise the overall level in the entire army by being good people and a good example. This 20-something year old movement has really born fruit. There are religious officers and soldiers all over the army and not-so-slowly climbing the ranks (in officers school about 1/3 of the cadets are religious even though they represent less than 10% of the population). This was clearly evident by the overwhelming number of religious Jews standing by the graves of their loved ones. The area of the cemetery was filled with a majority of national religious fallen soldiers and it was truly heartwarming to see what an influence and a difference this movement is having on the army and the rest of the country.

Little Observations, Pesach, and My Birthday 5/5/08

So I always promise myself that whenever I think of something to update I will actually do it—turns out I’m a much better procrastinator than I had imagined. (Obviously I am writing right now so that I will have a legitimate excuse not to do my homework)

It has been a big last month! I turned 21 and had one of the most amazing birthdays ever. David took 2 days vacation off of the army and we went up north to the Golan. I had never really spent any time up there and it was wonderful for me to get to familiarize myself with a new part of my country. I was also just so happy to get to spend so much consecutive uninterrupted time with David (when it wasn’t Shabbat). Tons of things didn’t go as planned (the visibility was terrible so all of the views of the kinneret were blurry, we didn’t end up camping on the beach, we didn’t cook out rather we “cooked out” in his cousins backyard, we didn’t sleep well so we didn’t hike well and didn’t make it to the pools we wanted to get to) but it was all great to me because all I wanted was the time away together. It was absolutely perfect.

From then I was on vacation for Pesach for just over 2 weeks! It was wonderful. I did a lot of relaxing and a lot of cleaning and I spent the Chag with David’s family which was really nice. It was my first Pesach away from my parents but fortunately the people who led Seder did it similarly enough to the way we have always done it that I felt at home. Plus I was with David which always makes me happy. It was also wonderful to know that I was doing the Seder and that I wouldn’t have to do it again the next night. Being Israeli is awesome!

During Chol Hamoed I was VERY busy! David and I went to visit the Herodion (sight of one of Herod’s fortresses/palaces) which I’ve been wanting to get to for a long time!

The next day I went to visit my cousins in Neve Ilan and that evening David’s family was having a reunion so I went to that which was really pleasant and a lot of fun! The next day was when the real fun started! My friend Shevy had gotten tickets to one of the concerts at the Ahava festival at the dead sea (Ehud Banai and Maschina) hoping that she could find someone to go with her! It was awesome. We decided to save money and hitchhike the whole way. The concert didn’t start until 10pm but we left Jerusalem around 6ish. We got great rides from really nice people all along the way. The concert was FANTASTIC and I had so much fun but it was during a heat wave and even at 2am when the concert was ending it was at least 90 degrees!!! We made it back to my place by 3:30 but for some reason I didn’t sleep so well ☹

The next day I went up to David’s base (which is much more of a schlep than I could have ever imagined) to visit him and play at the beach right next door. It took me so long to get there that we only had about an hour there before we had to run to go to some engagement parties. We went to tel aviv for one of his best friends’ from yeshiva’s engagement and then we rushed down to beer sheva to my cousin eliana’s engagement party (well the tail end at least). It was a very family oriented week and a great opportunity for both David and I to meet each other’s extended families!

The next day David went up to Yeshiva for a visit and Elana came over to play with me! She is here for the semester studying in Haifa and it was the first time we got to see each other!! She looks fabulous and is having a great time.

Chag was nice and then Sunday was back to school (bummer).

Ok jumping forward. Remember those orange trees that were on the street that I talked about so proudly a few months ago? Well in order to accommodate the new light rail system it looks like they are all going to be taken down. It makes me really sad and sort of goes along with how my optimism for the future of this country under its current leadership is significantly dropping. I still wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but it is incredibly frustrating.

Last week my friend Yoni turned 20. He is a Lone Soldier (aka he is serving in the army but has no immediate family here) I’ve kind of adopted him. He does his laundry by us and we are very strong emotional supports for each other (and David is a great army resource!) To celebrate his birthday he wanted to have a Seudah Shlishit (afternoon Shabbat meal) at his apartment. Because his place is too small we had to eat outside (his street is closed to motor traffic and is really pleasant) we were a nice sized group of 20ish people sitting outside and singing and enjoying Shabbat and it was really a beautiful experience. Here we were in the heart of downtown Jerusalem sitting in the street singing as Shabbat was ending. Even if yoni and his friends weren’t all musical it would have been a special experience. David was even convinced that some tourists were going to stop and take pictures. Once Shabbat ended the guys decided to daven Maariv together. Since there was clearly no room inside they just started the service right where they were in the middle of the street. It was a beautiful thing to see 15 guys praying together in the middle of the street in the middle of the city. These kinds of things give me the chills and make me so happy that I live here. It was just so natural (but there was a tourist who took pictures) and felt so right that it’s the kind of thing that can only happen in Israel and especially in Jerusalem.

Now I’m just attempting to stay motivated in school… I’m so close to the end and my grades don’t count for next year!! This week is Yom Hazikaron (Memorial Day) and Yom Haatzmaut (Independence day) and I am really excited. I’m hoping to make it to Har Hertzel to the National War Cemetery on Memorial Day and then I think im going to visit David on the beach by his base and have a bbq!!

BIG Changes

I made Aliyah under the (incredibly wrong) impression that once I made this major life change everything else would seem like a piece of cake. Surprisingly and thankfully I have found the first almost full year (wow) to be smooth and calm and I really feel that I slipped into my life here with no adjustment problems. I moved into an area that I know very well and surrounded by friends whom I’ve known for a long time. During this year of Ulpan, my Hebrew has improved by leaps and bounds and I no longer feel bound by any form of language barrier. I have learned how to navigate the bureaucratic system with few traumatic stories, and above all else I really truly feel at home here.

The question next becomes “Which here do I identify as my home?” Jerusalem in particular or greater Israel in general? Unfortunately for me I have not explored as much of greater Israel as I would have liked by this point. That’s why I am freaking out about the major changes that are about to take place in my life. David and I are planning to move to Givat Shmuel (a city near Tel Aviv) so that I can study at Bar Ilan University and he can be close to his base and come home every day. Literally everything will change aside from the fact that I will still be in the same country.

I am getting married, I am moving to a new city, and I am starting at yet another new university. That is a lot to take in all at once and I am just blown away by how stressed I am about the changes. I really truly believed that I couldn’t possibly ever worry about changes in my life again. I guess I am starting to realize that monumental change in monumental change no matter how much change has come before it and as people we tend to cling to what we know and shy away from the trauma of getting to know something new.

Fortunately, along with my trepidation I am super excited. I CAN NOT WAIT to be married to David. The long engagement thing is really convenient in that we have plenty of time to plan and are giving our friends and family time to make travel arrangements. The long engagement also gives us time to adjust to the idea of being married for real, but at the end of the day 10 months feels like way too long. We are both so ready to start our lives together: we want to start building our own routine independent of anyone else, we want to set up our house, and most importantly we just want to be able to be together for real, for good. It will be great also to live in Givat Shmuel. Because of its proximity to the campus it is a haven for young people and as Bar Ilan is a relatively religious place there are a TON of young married couples who will be in the same situation as we are for us to socialize with. The base is also only 20 minutes away as opposed to an hour and a half from Jerusalem which will make our first few years together more pleasant because he won’t be commuting so much. I also can’t wait to start school. I have been waiting for years to finally decide what it is that I will study and just the knowledge that I have made the decision and been accepted to the program I want is a fantastic feeling! I will be getting a degree in Israel Studies and Archaeology as well as the government’s tour guide certification. I am so excited. I find the subject fascinating (obviously) and am so so so excited to learn. All of these changes are wonderful and thank G-d they are all happening and things are finally coming together for me, even if I have done things a bit out of order!!

p.s. I am also turning 21 in 11 days!! Crazy right?

Hiatus/Happy Purim! 20/3/08

Sorry for the hiatus…. there have been a ton of goings on here (mostly negative) and sometimes I get so frustrated and upset and depressed that I don’t have the energy to express my thoughts clearly on paper. I still have a hard time expressing how I feel, but there are some who do a much better job than I do. If you have never read anything by Daniel Gordis then you should. On his website, Danielgordis.org, are posted his “dispatches” where he writes beautifully about Israel etc. His latest post is incredibly powerful and really speaks to how I feel the situation is here. Check it out. His latest book is also one of the major things that gave me the continued strength to make aliyah and know that I was making the right decision.

On other notes things are going well. Wedding planning is kicking into a different gear. The invitations are almost finished (the design not the printing) and David and I have started to actively look for a place to live! AH scary! Ha-ha. I am planning to go to Bar Ilan next year to study “Land of Israel Studies and Archaeology” and I am SOOOOOOOOOOO excited! Bar Ilan is significantly closer to David’s base and since he will be commuting every day it will mean a huge increase in our quality of life. I am working on getting around to going to register with the Rabbinate to get married. It sounds like such an unpleasant process that I’m really not looking forward to it! Also. I’m sick (again) this week and know that I don’t have the energy to deal with them right now!!!! It is such a shame that the Rabbinate is part of almost every major religious lifecycle event and yet it is often upsetting and difficult to work with them. Why should all of our happy occasions be marred by a trip to see the mean Rabbis who control everything?

For Purim this year I am taking the easy way out: I’m dressing up as a soldier from David’s unit. Not only do I get to wear a uniform (which makes costume choosing so easy) but I get to wear his flight suit which is like a big people version of foot-less footie-pajamas and I can’t wait. Purim will be a bit calm this year because im still in bed and getting over a violent cold ☹.

Hope everyone has a fun and meaningful Purim and is having an easy fast!

I never posted snow pictures....

Wedding Week 27/2/08

Two weeks ago my mom was here for a WHOPPING 6 days to help with wedding planning stuff. It was amazing and crazy and overwhelming and exhausting but somehow we actually accomplished everything we had set out to do. Aside from the fact that I can focus on school knowing that a significant portion of the big decisions have been made, the experience of spending the entire week with my mom and future mother in law was wonderful. I am so lucky that they like each other and get along!!! It was adorable to watch the two of them walk into every meeting with their various folders and just take care of everything right away. I was blown away and I loved it. It was also really nice getting to spend some extra time with my mom! I love being here but I miss my family every day and its nice to get to see at least one of my family members. Ok that’s about it, I mostly wanted to gush about the amazing week with my mommy ☺ hope everyone is having a good one!

Im Yesh Gan Eden 31/1/08

I finished reading the book Im Yesh Gan Eden (Beaufort in English) and I can’t stop thinking about it. The book (now made into a movie, that I haven’t seen yet, that has been nominated for an Oscar) is about the First Lebanon War and Israel’s disengagement from their “security zone” whose purpose was to protect the cities and towns in the North from attack by Hezbollah. The book follows the military service of the last unit to pull out of one of the main fortresses in the Israeli defensive line. It is the first full book I have read in Hebrew and it was amazing. I read it in less than 2 weeks and couldn’t put it down or stop thinking about it. Aside from being written very well and in a captivating and absorbing style, the story that follows the lives and deaths of a dozen or so soldiers raises serious questions that I think will haunt me for a long time.

The first part of the book describes their first round of service in the Beaufort fortress in Southern Lebanon. It is a tough life but the soldiers persevere and work hard to succeed because they know that the security of the Northern half of the county rests with them. By the time they start their second “tour” at the fortress, the government has already decided to withdraw all troops from Lebanon. The soldiers return to even harsher conditions but without the conviction that what they are doing has any purpose. They are continually discouraged as their comrades die and they no longer are able to convince themselves that they are fighting for a cause. Why die here now when in 4 months we are going to retreat? The book also describes the general public’s reaction to the whole affair. They lose patience and put pressure on the soldiers and make their missions even more difficult. They are dieing and the people they are trying to protect aren’t even proud of them.

The most chilling part of the book is the end. The narrator in a bout of nostalgia wishes he could return to the area of the fort but rather than a military outpost he will find an internationally acclaimed resort. He knows this will never be the case and says that the next time he will return it will be in another war. Hezbollah will kidnap soldiers and start firing rockets on the North. The Air Force will think they can win the war alone but in the end it is the ground troops who will reenter Lebanon and fight house to house to protect the country. The book was published a year before the Second Lebanon War broke out and that is exactly what happened.

I can’t stop thinking about now how awful it all is. I can’t stop thinking about the number of soldiers who lost their lives well after the government gave up on the mission and decided to withdraw. I can’t stop thinking about how we keep handing land over to the enemy on a silver platter without any consideration to our strategic defense. I can’t help thinking that I live in a place with an irresponsible government who care more about the politics than about the results of their decisions. I can’t stop thinking about people who are of the delusional opinion that there really is a peace process and that there is a rational partner to peace. Why don’t people see that we have an enemy and the only way to protect ourselves is to fight fire with fire? Why does my home have such a terrible identity crisis that its citizens can’t band together to fight for a common goal and understand the importance of this land as a Jewish land?

I feel heavy and upset and deflated. I am here because I am idealistic. I believe that the Jews need to be together in the Jewish homeland. I believe that there is no other place for me in the world. But at the same time, I sometimes feel that the problems here run so deep that we will never be able to fix them. Sometimes I just want to cry for all of the people who have died seemingly for nothing. It makes me want to scream that slick and evil politicians like Olmert are still in office and refuse to take responsibility for their actions administering a war that couldn’t be won under the conditions the army was given. As much as I love being here sometimes it hurts me physically. Where will we be in 20 years? Will there even still be an Israel? I pray that there will be and that one day we will have leaders who will be willing and able to make the tough decisions that will truly solidify our nationhood. Until then I don’t know. I simply don’t know and it makes me want to cry.

SNOW!!!

ITS SNOWING!!! real honest to goodness, big flake, swirling, magical, beautiful snow!!! It's amazing to see. I'll post some pictures eventually...now I'm going back to bed....no final today!

SNOW?!? 12/28/07

Snow is all people are talking about. The Weather Report says that it is supposed to snow in some form and combination of heaviness from Tuesday night until Thursday morning. The question on everyone’s mind is: Is it really going to snow? Every year the forecasters predict snow in the hopes that the entire city will shut down and everyone will get a day (or few) to just play and relax and drink hot chocolate (mmmmm shoko). Houston is clearly a place that doesn’t get much snow so under any normal circumstances I should be SUPER excited at the prospect of a few snow days. But I’m not. I’m supposed to have a final on Wednesday and if it is cancelled due to snow I’ll have to take in on Friday. That is a really upsetting thought! The other downside is that David would be stuck in the army. What fun is a snow day if you can’t curl up next to the heater with the one you love?

Just wait though, once the snow falls I’ll be outside making snowballs like any good kid should. And once it does I know I’ll be glad it did. Snow in Jerusalem is supposedly one of the more beautiful things to behold and it would be a nice thing to add to my “first year in Israel” experiences list! Happy snow days everyone. Hope you are all bundled up and warm wherever you may be, snow or not.

The Strike is over (and selfishly I wish it wasn’t) 1/22/08

The Senior Lecturer’s Strike, which lasted for 90 days finally ended this Sunday and classes in the University have gone back to normal (almost). The repercussions on the students are insane (ex: I order to fill in all of the material for an entire year in essentially 1 semester, studies are going to run straight through all vacations, excluding religious holidays. The next expected vacation is exactly a year from now. Sick. ) It’s a whole big balagan (i.e. mess) and as angry and annoyed as everyone is they are just happy to finally be learning.

On the selfish side, I along with my fellow Overseas School students have had the entire campus almost completely to ourselves. It doesn’t really make a difference once we get to our classes in our own building, but it makes a HUGE difference in the commute to school as well as waiting for services once we get to school. The bus rides this week have been absolutely unbelievable. I was on my way back to school on Sunday and the bus was much fuller than usual. As we got closer and closer to campus the bus became PACKED beyond packed. (luckily I get on far enough away from campus to get a seat) I would have sworn over my first 3 children that the driver wouldn’t possibly stop at any more stops (Its common practice for drivers to bypass stops when they are just too full to take on more passengers) but he did. And he continued to. It was slightly amusing and a bit worrying to watch students force themselves through the back door into the already tippy-toes room only bus. It took the driver a few tries each stop to close the doors because somebody’s limbs or bags were stuck outside!! I was afraid the bus would weigh too much and the bus would break down and then NONE of us would get to school….but then again I’m a worrier by nature.

The second problem that this creates is once we reach school. At Hebrew U, everyone wishing to enter the campus has to pass through security: first an ID check and then a bag check/metal detector. While there is a strike the whole process takes no more than 2 minutes. When the entire university shows up for class at the exact same times it can take 10 minutes! It’s freezing outside in the bus tunnel and the security personnel who are terse on a good day are downright pissed that they have to actually work so hard. It’s not the end of the world but it’s a pretty shitty was to start your day: being yelled at by disgruntled kids my age who hate their jobs.

The next big shock came when I reached the campus. It was full. I mean really full. People were sitting on the grass and someone was smoking every 3 steps and there were just a lot of people. I’d been used to the University being a depressing ghost town. I couldn’t wait for the strike to be over and the place to come alive again…now I just feel like an outsider like a quasi-student since my Hebrew isn’t perfect and I’m not really in university anyway.

On a more positive note and to help explain my prolonged (again) absence I recently finished writing an 8 PAGE PAPER IN HEBREW. Yes, you read correctly. 8 pages. In Hebrew. To top off the whole experience and to make all of the late nights and nervous breakdowns worth it I got a 100. Clearly they weren’t dissecting our use of grammar and word choice rather our ability to do a research paper…but still. It was in Hebrew. I succeeded. As far an I’m concerned this year is a success. Even if I fail every other class (which would be really hard considering my high school classes were much harder than this) I wouldn’t care because I have proven to myself that not only can I survive in Hebrew but I can succeed as well.

Also, completely unrelated, my cousin Alan was here on birthright the last few weeks so not only did I get to see him but he also got to meet David! It was really exciting for my since very few of my family members have had the opportunity to meet him yet. It’s also very exciting for me that my family is coming to spend time here….hopefully they’ll all come to visit more often ☺!!!

Next up is finals which start this Friday. I have a week and a half and only 4 finals spread out which will be really nice and relaxing ☺. Mom comes on February 8 to help with a blitzkrieg 6-day wedding planning extravaganza. I can’t wait to see her and it will be nice to get started on a lot of the things that I still need to work out before the wedding! Other than that I am on a 3-week vacation where I plan to attempt to get an Israeli drivers license and maybe do some hiking! Hope all is well with all of you. Happy Tu B’Shvat!