Sunday, May 17, 2009
The Life of an Army Wife 17/5/09
I am very proud of David and the work he does in the army. He works very hard in a very important job, and I know that he is actively contributing to the security of this country. Unfortunately this all comes at the expense of his time with me. After about 3 and a half years together I am more than used to getting by on my own and filling my time without him, but I always have a guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach when I’m having fun without him. Usually, When David is away and I’m having fun he’s doing something physically and mentally tasking and not fun at all. A perfect example is our pre-wedding menu-tasting: David was on a field exercise eating kosher spam and barely sleeping while I got to have a fabulous gourmet meal with family and friends in anticipation of the wedding. I don’t think David has ever gotten over that disappointment and is still waiting for us to be invited to another wedding at the same hall so he can finally taste the food. We have finally reached a new stage in our “he leaves me home alone” relationship: I am starting to take longer trips for school and during the summer I will be gone for two weeks straight for an archaeological dig. And I’m torn. After all of this time that he’s had to leave me for really important things I feel even more guilty for leaving him and extending the stretches of time that we won’t be able to be together. I guess I have to get used to it if I want to be a tour guide and be bouncing around the country all the time! All of this is practice for the real world, because as I try to keep reminding myself, its not only the army that separates us, its life and we have to get used to being together while being apart. It sounds ironic that this would be an issue for us after all of the time I spent in the states while we were together, but its so different now that we’re married and have gotten used to seeing each other all the time!!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
A Proper Memorial Day 7/5/09 (Warning, It’s Long)
Last Week was Israeli Memorial Day and Independace Day. The experience here in Israel is very different from that in America, and this year my experience was truly special. Unfortunately David was on duty the entire time so I made plans with friends to take the car and have a real Memorial Day. I went with my friends Merav and Shira who are both tour guides, know every inch of this country by heart, and love to find special things. I was their chauffer and they were my guides on what has so far been the most moving and meaningful Memorial Day I have ever experienced. We had to have David on base by 7am so we got a really early start. Our first destination was a place called “Givat Tom ve’Tomer” (Tom and Tomer Hill). It is a personal memorial on the outskirts of Kibbutz Negba to the 73 soldiers who were killed in the “Helicopter Tragedy” February 4, 1997. Two transport helicopters collided in mid-air and everyone aboard was killed. The father of one of the soldiers, a resident of the Kibbutz, had a very hard time recovering from the loss of his son. He decided to build a personal memorial and garden in memory of his son and of the other fallen soldiers. The site is barely a hill, but you can see it from far away because the electric pole that runs through is painted like a sky with 73 doves on it in memory of each of the soldiers. We were there by 7:30 just as the caretaker was setting up for the day- they already had tens of groups planning to come. He explained that the father had recently had a stroke and that he takes care of the garden for him. He asked us to help him clean off the signs as we were walking through if we didn’t mind. Obviously we didn’t. The garden was small but beautiful and so unbelievably peaceful. He purposely planted only plants that are indigenous to Israel because, as he wrote on one of the plaques in the garden, that this was the greenery that the soldiers walked through and served in and experienced during their service and it was a tribute to them. All throughout the garden are places to stop and sit and reflect as well as large stone memorials bearing the names of all of the fallen, where they were from, where they served, and whatever other little anecdotes their families wished to have added. All throughout the garden are newspaper clippings and letters from the families about their loved ones. It is a small and nondescript place, but it is filled with so much love and pain and memory that it was tangible. Places like this exist all over the country and it was nice to get to see one for myself. I had a very strange feeling while walking through the garden. I felt as if I were an outsider encroaching on other peoples lives and other peoples pain. My friends were very emotional thinking about all of their friends and loved ones who have fallen- and the number is unfortunately not small, and all I could think about was an additional facet to the sacrifice that I made when I decided to move here. My children will know this pain. They will be surrounded with it their entire lives and I have brought it upon them. My friends thought that this was a very interesting observation and I think started to understand a bit more what exactly is entailed in making Aliyah.
Our next stop was to a nearby hill that was capture by Battalion 53 of the Givati Bridage in the War of Independence. This Battalion doesn’t exist anymore, but many of its soldiers are still alive. Every year they have a ceremony on that hill (where there is also a memorial). Shira found the place a year and a half ago. She is from that area and had always passed by without ever stopping in to check it out. One day she went with friends just before Memorial Day and there was an old man there who was missing a hand and was setting things up. They started talking to him and it turns out that he was one of the soldiers in the Battalion (he lost his hand in the war… he was a sapper who had laid all of the mines in the whole area) and was in charge of the ceremony every year. The girls stayed there for a few hours listening to his story and they promised to come back for the ceremony. Shira couldn’t make it because her grandmother had passed away and she needed to be with her family so it was especially important for her to go this year. She had stayed in touch with him and he even sent her books that were written about the Battalion. His biggest fear is that once the remaining members of the Battalion pass away there will be no one to conduct the ceremony in honor of their fallen heroes from the War of Independence. When we got there he immediately recognized her and it was clear just how happy he was that we had come and that Shira had remembered. The ceremony was simple and sweet and showed that these men were true heroes. The man honored to light the memorial flame was in a wheelchair and needed 3 people to help him make it to the platform but he wanted to walk and nothing was going to stop him. This man had commanded a convoy that came under attack and then was abandoned by other forces when the convoy got stuck in the mud. He commanded his troops for almost 8 hours stuck inside their armored vehicles under constant enemy fire without food or water until help could reach them. He kept them all alive. The Battalion Commander, who is 94 and still completely lucid, also spoke. Even at 94 it was clear that this man was a wonderful leader and a powerful influence on people. He said that 61 years after the war he still feels the need to apologize to the families who’s sons and brothers and fathers he wasn’t able to keep safe. This man helped start the Nachal Brigade as well as was a founding member of a few of Israel’s cities. It was truly an honor to be part of such a special and rare and almost extinct ceremony.
Next we went to the military cemetery in Kiryat Anavim in the Jerusalem hills (actually it’s the town directly down the mountain from where I got married) where the fallen from the Palmach’s “Har’el Brigade” are buried. The ceremony itself was the usual standard government ceremony with yet another 2 minute siren (see my last post about the sirens). It was special because a distant relative of Merav’s was killed in the Battle for the Castel and her family came to visit his grave. The other reason coming to this specific ceremony is special is because all of the former Palmachniks who are still alive come to honor their friends. When the ceremony is over they stay and talk. They talk about their war experiences and their friends to anyone who is willing to listen. We stayed for two hours after the ceremony to listen to them talk. These men standing and sitting before us are the people who liberated Jerusalem and broke the siege. It was amazing to get to sit and listen to the people that I’ve been learning about in school talk about one of the most interesting and exciting times in Israel’s short history. I felt truly honored to be in their presence and still can’t believe that I was so lucky to be able to be there and here the stories first hand.
Since we were so close to my cousin’s house we popped in for a visit and then we had a picnic in nearby Yad Hashmona (a town that was founded in memory of Holocaust victims) in an area looking over the mountains. Shira and Merav had brought a guitar with them and had downloaded the chords and lyrics for every Memorial Day song that exists. All day during the drives they were playing and singing. During our picnic we just sat for hours singing songs and enjoying the wonderful country that we are so lucky to have.
For the transition ceremony between Memorial Day and Independence Day I went to Efrat with David’s family because they always have a really sweet and nice ceremony. During the ceremony they have people they wish to honor light torches “for the Glory of the State of Israel”. The first family honored to light a torch was the Goodman Family. Many of you will know them through their Houston branch. Their son Yoesf was killed in a parachuting accident in February 2006. The family currently has 3 other sons serving in the army. All of them are in combat positions and two are in the very same unit that Yosef served in. When Ann and Goodman (the mother) walked onto the stage with her sons all in uniform and their father Mordechai I already started to tear up. Ann walked up the microphone and said with pride in her voice that they were lighting the torch in honor of the soldiers and all of the defense forces with pride and love and understanding of personal sacrifice. I totally lost it. Standing in front of me were the true heroes of this country. Instead of being angry about the loss of their son and demanding that their others not go to the army or serve in only non-combat positions, they understand Zionism and love for this country and they sent their other sons to battle anyway. These are the people on whose backs and hearts this country has been built and is continuing to be supported. Without people like the Goodmans who are filled with the utmost sense of purpose and dedication we would be nowhere. I am proud to know a family like that and hope that one day I will be able to be even a fraction as strong as they are.
Our next stop was to a nearby hill that was capture by Battalion 53 of the Givati Bridage in the War of Independence. This Battalion doesn’t exist anymore, but many of its soldiers are still alive. Every year they have a ceremony on that hill (where there is also a memorial). Shira found the place a year and a half ago. She is from that area and had always passed by without ever stopping in to check it out. One day she went with friends just before Memorial Day and there was an old man there who was missing a hand and was setting things up. They started talking to him and it turns out that he was one of the soldiers in the Battalion (he lost his hand in the war… he was a sapper who had laid all of the mines in the whole area) and was in charge of the ceremony every year. The girls stayed there for a few hours listening to his story and they promised to come back for the ceremony. Shira couldn’t make it because her grandmother had passed away and she needed to be with her family so it was especially important for her to go this year. She had stayed in touch with him and he even sent her books that were written about the Battalion. His biggest fear is that once the remaining members of the Battalion pass away there will be no one to conduct the ceremony in honor of their fallen heroes from the War of Independence. When we got there he immediately recognized her and it was clear just how happy he was that we had come and that Shira had remembered. The ceremony was simple and sweet and showed that these men were true heroes. The man honored to light the memorial flame was in a wheelchair and needed 3 people to help him make it to the platform but he wanted to walk and nothing was going to stop him. This man had commanded a convoy that came under attack and then was abandoned by other forces when the convoy got stuck in the mud. He commanded his troops for almost 8 hours stuck inside their armored vehicles under constant enemy fire without food or water until help could reach them. He kept them all alive. The Battalion Commander, who is 94 and still completely lucid, also spoke. Even at 94 it was clear that this man was a wonderful leader and a powerful influence on people. He said that 61 years after the war he still feels the need to apologize to the families who’s sons and brothers and fathers he wasn’t able to keep safe. This man helped start the Nachal Brigade as well as was a founding member of a few of Israel’s cities. It was truly an honor to be part of such a special and rare and almost extinct ceremony.
Next we went to the military cemetery in Kiryat Anavim in the Jerusalem hills (actually it’s the town directly down the mountain from where I got married) where the fallen from the Palmach’s “Har’el Brigade” are buried. The ceremony itself was the usual standard government ceremony with yet another 2 minute siren (see my last post about the sirens). It was special because a distant relative of Merav’s was killed in the Battle for the Castel and her family came to visit his grave. The other reason coming to this specific ceremony is special is because all of the former Palmachniks who are still alive come to honor their friends. When the ceremony is over they stay and talk. They talk about their war experiences and their friends to anyone who is willing to listen. We stayed for two hours after the ceremony to listen to them talk. These men standing and sitting before us are the people who liberated Jerusalem and broke the siege. It was amazing to get to sit and listen to the people that I’ve been learning about in school talk about one of the most interesting and exciting times in Israel’s short history. I felt truly honored to be in their presence and still can’t believe that I was so lucky to be able to be there and here the stories first hand.
Since we were so close to my cousin’s house we popped in for a visit and then we had a picnic in nearby Yad Hashmona (a town that was founded in memory of Holocaust victims) in an area looking over the mountains. Shira and Merav had brought a guitar with them and had downloaded the chords and lyrics for every Memorial Day song that exists. All day during the drives they were playing and singing. During our picnic we just sat for hours singing songs and enjoying the wonderful country that we are so lucky to have.
For the transition ceremony between Memorial Day and Independence Day I went to Efrat with David’s family because they always have a really sweet and nice ceremony. During the ceremony they have people they wish to honor light torches “for the Glory of the State of Israel”. The first family honored to light a torch was the Goodman Family. Many of you will know them through their Houston branch. Their son Yoesf was killed in a parachuting accident in February 2006. The family currently has 3 other sons serving in the army. All of them are in combat positions and two are in the very same unit that Yosef served in. When Ann and Goodman (the mother) walked onto the stage with her sons all in uniform and their father Mordechai I already started to tear up. Ann walked up the microphone and said with pride in her voice that they were lighting the torch in honor of the soldiers and all of the defense forces with pride and love and understanding of personal sacrifice. I totally lost it. Standing in front of me were the true heroes of this country. Instead of being angry about the loss of their son and demanding that their others not go to the army or serve in only non-combat positions, they understand Zionism and love for this country and they sent their other sons to battle anyway. These are the people on whose backs and hearts this country has been built and is continuing to be supported. Without people like the Goodmans who are filled with the utmost sense of purpose and dedication we would be nowhere. I am proud to know a family like that and hope that one day I will be able to be even a fraction as strong as they are.
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