Im Yesh Gan Eden 31/1/08

I finished reading the book Im Yesh Gan Eden (Beaufort in English) and I can’t stop thinking about it. The book (now made into a movie, that I haven’t seen yet, that has been nominated for an Oscar) is about the First Lebanon War and Israel’s disengagement from their “security zone” whose purpose was to protect the cities and towns in the North from attack by Hezbollah. The book follows the military service of the last unit to pull out of one of the main fortresses in the Israeli defensive line. It is the first full book I have read in Hebrew and it was amazing. I read it in less than 2 weeks and couldn’t put it down or stop thinking about it. Aside from being written very well and in a captivating and absorbing style, the story that follows the lives and deaths of a dozen or so soldiers raises serious questions that I think will haunt me for a long time.

The first part of the book describes their first round of service in the Beaufort fortress in Southern Lebanon. It is a tough life but the soldiers persevere and work hard to succeed because they know that the security of the Northern half of the county rests with them. By the time they start their second “tour” at the fortress, the government has already decided to withdraw all troops from Lebanon. The soldiers return to even harsher conditions but without the conviction that what they are doing has any purpose. They are continually discouraged as their comrades die and they no longer are able to convince themselves that they are fighting for a cause. Why die here now when in 4 months we are going to retreat? The book also describes the general public’s reaction to the whole affair. They lose patience and put pressure on the soldiers and make their missions even more difficult. They are dieing and the people they are trying to protect aren’t even proud of them.

The most chilling part of the book is the end. The narrator in a bout of nostalgia wishes he could return to the area of the fort but rather than a military outpost he will find an internationally acclaimed resort. He knows this will never be the case and says that the next time he will return it will be in another war. Hezbollah will kidnap soldiers and start firing rockets on the North. The Air Force will think they can win the war alone but in the end it is the ground troops who will reenter Lebanon and fight house to house to protect the country. The book was published a year before the Second Lebanon War broke out and that is exactly what happened.

I can’t stop thinking about now how awful it all is. I can’t stop thinking about the number of soldiers who lost their lives well after the government gave up on the mission and decided to withdraw. I can’t stop thinking about how we keep handing land over to the enemy on a silver platter without any consideration to our strategic defense. I can’t help thinking that I live in a place with an irresponsible government who care more about the politics than about the results of their decisions. I can’t stop thinking about people who are of the delusional opinion that there really is a peace process and that there is a rational partner to peace. Why don’t people see that we have an enemy and the only way to protect ourselves is to fight fire with fire? Why does my home have such a terrible identity crisis that its citizens can’t band together to fight for a common goal and understand the importance of this land as a Jewish land?

I feel heavy and upset and deflated. I am here because I am idealistic. I believe that the Jews need to be together in the Jewish homeland. I believe that there is no other place for me in the world. But at the same time, I sometimes feel that the problems here run so deep that we will never be able to fix them. Sometimes I just want to cry for all of the people who have died seemingly for nothing. It makes me want to scream that slick and evil politicians like Olmert are still in office and refuse to take responsibility for their actions administering a war that couldn’t be won under the conditions the army was given. As much as I love being here sometimes it hurts me physically. Where will we be in 20 years? Will there even still be an Israel? I pray that there will be and that one day we will have leaders who will be willing and able to make the tough decisions that will truly solidify our nationhood. Until then I don’t know. I simply don’t know and it makes me want to cry.

SNOW!!!

ITS SNOWING!!! real honest to goodness, big flake, swirling, magical, beautiful snow!!! It's amazing to see. I'll post some pictures eventually...now I'm going back to bed....no final today!

SNOW?!? 12/28/07

Snow is all people are talking about. The Weather Report says that it is supposed to snow in some form and combination of heaviness from Tuesday night until Thursday morning. The question on everyone’s mind is: Is it really going to snow? Every year the forecasters predict snow in the hopes that the entire city will shut down and everyone will get a day (or few) to just play and relax and drink hot chocolate (mmmmm shoko). Houston is clearly a place that doesn’t get much snow so under any normal circumstances I should be SUPER excited at the prospect of a few snow days. But I’m not. I’m supposed to have a final on Wednesday and if it is cancelled due to snow I’ll have to take in on Friday. That is a really upsetting thought! The other downside is that David would be stuck in the army. What fun is a snow day if you can’t curl up next to the heater with the one you love?

Just wait though, once the snow falls I’ll be outside making snowballs like any good kid should. And once it does I know I’ll be glad it did. Snow in Jerusalem is supposedly one of the more beautiful things to behold and it would be a nice thing to add to my “first year in Israel” experiences list! Happy snow days everyone. Hope you are all bundled up and warm wherever you may be, snow or not.

The Strike is over (and selfishly I wish it wasn’t) 1/22/08

The Senior Lecturer’s Strike, which lasted for 90 days finally ended this Sunday and classes in the University have gone back to normal (almost). The repercussions on the students are insane (ex: I order to fill in all of the material for an entire year in essentially 1 semester, studies are going to run straight through all vacations, excluding religious holidays. The next expected vacation is exactly a year from now. Sick. ) It’s a whole big balagan (i.e. mess) and as angry and annoyed as everyone is they are just happy to finally be learning.

On the selfish side, I along with my fellow Overseas School students have had the entire campus almost completely to ourselves. It doesn’t really make a difference once we get to our classes in our own building, but it makes a HUGE difference in the commute to school as well as waiting for services once we get to school. The bus rides this week have been absolutely unbelievable. I was on my way back to school on Sunday and the bus was much fuller than usual. As we got closer and closer to campus the bus became PACKED beyond packed. (luckily I get on far enough away from campus to get a seat) I would have sworn over my first 3 children that the driver wouldn’t possibly stop at any more stops (Its common practice for drivers to bypass stops when they are just too full to take on more passengers) but he did. And he continued to. It was slightly amusing and a bit worrying to watch students force themselves through the back door into the already tippy-toes room only bus. It took the driver a few tries each stop to close the doors because somebody’s limbs or bags were stuck outside!! I was afraid the bus would weigh too much and the bus would break down and then NONE of us would get to school….but then again I’m a worrier by nature.

The second problem that this creates is once we reach school. At Hebrew U, everyone wishing to enter the campus has to pass through security: first an ID check and then a bag check/metal detector. While there is a strike the whole process takes no more than 2 minutes. When the entire university shows up for class at the exact same times it can take 10 minutes! It’s freezing outside in the bus tunnel and the security personnel who are terse on a good day are downright pissed that they have to actually work so hard. It’s not the end of the world but it’s a pretty shitty was to start your day: being yelled at by disgruntled kids my age who hate their jobs.

The next big shock came when I reached the campus. It was full. I mean really full. People were sitting on the grass and someone was smoking every 3 steps and there were just a lot of people. I’d been used to the University being a depressing ghost town. I couldn’t wait for the strike to be over and the place to come alive again…now I just feel like an outsider like a quasi-student since my Hebrew isn’t perfect and I’m not really in university anyway.

On a more positive note and to help explain my prolonged (again) absence I recently finished writing an 8 PAGE PAPER IN HEBREW. Yes, you read correctly. 8 pages. In Hebrew. To top off the whole experience and to make all of the late nights and nervous breakdowns worth it I got a 100. Clearly they weren’t dissecting our use of grammar and word choice rather our ability to do a research paper…but still. It was in Hebrew. I succeeded. As far an I’m concerned this year is a success. Even if I fail every other class (which would be really hard considering my high school classes were much harder than this) I wouldn’t care because I have proven to myself that not only can I survive in Hebrew but I can succeed as well.

Also, completely unrelated, my cousin Alan was here on birthright the last few weeks so not only did I get to see him but he also got to meet David! It was really exciting for my since very few of my family members have had the opportunity to meet him yet. It’s also very exciting for me that my family is coming to spend time here….hopefully they’ll all come to visit more often ☺!!!

Next up is finals which start this Friday. I have a week and a half and only 4 finals spread out which will be really nice and relaxing ☺. Mom comes on February 8 to help with a blitzkrieg 6-day wedding planning extravaganza. I can’t wait to see her and it will be nice to get started on a lot of the things that I still need to work out before the wedding! Other than that I am on a 3-week vacation where I plan to attempt to get an Israeli drivers license and maybe do some hiking! Hope all is well with all of you. Happy Tu B’Shvat!