Becoming a Soldier While Staying Human 28/1/09

Last night David and I had the incredible pleasure of standing in for Yoni’s parents at his unit’s Parent’s Night. Yoni is a lone soldier and one of our best friends. We have in many ways “adopted” him and are always thrilled to be able to be there for him in any way we can while he goes through so much and his family is so far away. Aside from the great experience of simply being there for Yoni, last night was a very inspiring evening and really got me thinking.

Yoni is a squad commander (I think that’s the translation…basically it’s the lowest level commander that belongs to each unit.) He has a small group of soldiers under his personal command and he is their link to the officers, the person with whom they come into contact the most, and the first person they go to with their problems. It was so nice to get to see him with his soldiers and to meet his officers and all of the people he spends all day every day with.

The evening started out with food (more munchies than dinner but whatever) and schmoozing. Then the commanding officer gave a nice speech and handed out certifications of recognition to soldiers and commanders who are excelling. After commending the soldiers, the commanding officer honored a few parents who have gone above and beyond to make sure that everything the unit needs is taken care of. They planned a Chanukkah Party for the unit and spoiled them like crazy apparently.

The end of the evening was a concert. One of the soldiers mothers used to be in a famous old school Israeli band (Gevatron) and organized to have a famous Mizrachi (the nasal whiney music that sounds like its in Arabic) singer come and perform for the soldiers and their families. The soldiers pretty quickly jumped out of their seats and went down to dance. It was so fun and funny watching them dance together. These awkward boys who have been in the army only 6 months were jumping around and having fun together, and their parents got to see it. The evening made me do a lot of thinking…

I have always wondered how Israeli society can exist as such a militarily centered society and still be so normal. (Israel has plenty of other problems, but I don’t think they come from the army exclusively.)The goal of basic and advanced training is to take boys and break them so they can be reshaped into men, into soldiers. I have many friends who are soldiers and it has always fascinated me how they seem to snap into and out of their army personas. David is not a combat soldier and while he has a bit of the same schizophrenia like personality change his are less extreme. Last night I got an interesting glimpse into the world that produces killing machines (for all intents and purposes) that can still go home to their families on the weekends and be the same person they were when they left. Watching the boys, and they are very very much still children, letting loose and dancing and smiling and having fun made me want to cry. Watching them dance with their units and officers and grow close to them was heartwarming. I couldn’t help but think that in the next war these boys would be fighting alongside these friends and putting their lives on the line for each other and for all of the rest of us. The importance of the trust and love and bonds between these boys as they grow into men was not lost on me. I don’t think it was lost on the parents present either.

Brothers in Arms I think is a great term to describe the phenomenon. The soldiers can stay human because the bonds built between them and their comrades are human. Together with their officers they are building a supportive family. They are working very hard to train for a very hard job that is for the benefit of us all. They can stay human because their task is a just task. Protecting the Jewish Nation is one of the most just tasks any Jew can take on. They go into battle with their heads held high because they know they are protecting themselves, their brothers, and all of their loved ones back at home. The path is not an easy one, and each one of those soldiers would rather be traveling the world or starting college. They understand the need for them and the importance of their mission. They have volunteered to be where they are because as long as we live in a place that needs protecting there will be people volunteering to protect us.

I don’t know how I’m going to feel as the years go by and my children enter the army. I maintain no illusions that by the time I have children and they are old enough to go into the army there will be no need for an army. Israel will always have to fight for its existence. It is depressing, but it is what I believe. At least right now I feel good knowing that the army they will be going into will at least try to build them into better and stronger people who understand the importance of their mission and who can hold their heads high while accomplishing it.